


MAYBE

by hiroleca



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-08 03:42:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20299090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiroleca/pseuds/hiroleca
Summary: she tried to figure out when exactly she fell in love with the other girl.





	MAYBE

**Author's Note:**

> couldn't sleep so i made this instead.
> 
> clarification: i wrote this with no intention of properly naming the characters. so ---  
the 'OTHER GIRL': let's just take it as byul.  
'SHE': usually refers to yongsun. 
> 
> sorry for the confusion, it's this way for a reason (lmao a personal story ya!)

she couldn't pinpoint the exact moment she knew she was in love. 

MAYBE it was while they were on her bed. when she looked up from her position as the small spoon and saw her friend mindlessly scrolling through instagram while stroking her back. no wonder, that's why she felt ticklish.

OR MAYBE it was when the first thing the other girl said while strolling into her room and lazily flopping onto the super-single sized bed. 'let's fork.' the other girl said as she smirked and raised her brows, 'and spoon,' she said while scooting over to make space for the legitimate owner of the bed, 'and cuddle!' well, she needed to thank the stars that the room was dimly lit, for she was definitely blushing and her heart was pounding when she slid into the bed, only to feel the other girl spooning from behind.

OR MAYBE it was when they tried to brave the heavy downpour. the both of them thought it'd be a great idea to try and cross the bridge over to the other side of the neighbourhood to see their mutual friend. when a gust of wind blew the rain horizontally (is that even possible?) into their faces, essentially soaking their hair and clothes wet despite their one umbrella they closely held to their bodies. when she looked up at the other girl, all afraid of the cold and of catching the flu, the other was outright laughing, pearly-whites all showing. she couldn't help but laugh along there and then... even more so when they both agreed that their friend would have to wait another day.

OR MAYBE it was when she caught the other girl recording her. while the both of them were in bed together, her dog was pawing to open the door. she let the pup in, petting and cooing in a baby voice at her beloved canine. when she didn't hear the other girl speak for a while, she turned around, only to see a phone held in the air, a face with a smirk behind the said phone. the both of them laughed it off. then it happened again and again, while she was whining for their food delivery, or while she was butchering a new song released by one of those kpop girl groups with those bubblegum pop songs. she always wondered why the other girl never sent the videos she recorded, only saving them onto her phone.

OR MAYBE it was when the other girl was playing around with a filter on snapchat and then shoved the phone in front of her face to get a picture of her. 'oi, what are you doing-' 'look! it's our family. we're the parents, and our combined faces are our boy and girl kids. looks cute, right? although your dog is already our kid'. a family with kids, huh...

OR MAYBE it was when they were lying in bed together (yes, they did an awful lot of that) and listening to songs that they were recommending to each other. 'hey, this is our couple song!' the other girl grinned and held an imaginery mike as the introduction to the song began to blare. '-ex girl, nanananananana' she soulfully sang, earning a laugh and smack. little did the other girl know that she would start listening to that song more and more, despite having drifted from kpop, she was drawn back in to that song because of this very memory.

OR MAYBE it was when she was overseas and tipsy after a night out drinking at a bowling alley with a bar. when she and a roommate got back to the hotel room, she facetimed the other girl. then the other two roommates came back too. 'i'm just talking to a friend', the girl slurred while the other girl laughed on the line. later on, while they were texting, after the call ended and she sobered up, she received a 'why didn't you introduce me as your girlfriend?'. she wasn't sure if her cheeks were flushed due to the drinking from earlier, or from the thought of calling and having the other girl as her proper girlfriend.

OR MAYBE it was when they were in a taxi on the way back to her place. when the other girl was bored and began playing with her hand while she used her phone. next thing she knew, she felt the other girl's hand interlocking with hers. 'what the hell, dude' she said as she withdrew her hand, only for the other girl to clasp it again with her own. she looked worriedly at the taxi driver, the last thing she needed being an angry middle aged man having a thing or two to say about two girls holding hands. when she saw that he wasn't paying attention (thank you for paying attention to the roads, sir!) she decided to indulge in the other girl's play and began holding her hand too. she felt her heart flutter and race, and when she left the taxi, she could only remember how nice it felt to hold her hand. 

WHATEVER IT WAS, MAYBE it was when she finally worked up the courage to say something about this. they knew each other for almost two years then, and this was the common routine throughout those two years. surely there was a reason why the other girl had always initiated such physical affection? surely the other girl wasn't scheming her if it was always this way for the past two years? maybe that's when she knew, for sure, that she was in love with that girl. that she HAD to know if what she felt was what the other girl felt...?

... "MAYBE", she thought as she felt a surge of adrenaline course through her body as she texted the other girl. the other girl persisted with the usual pleasantries (or flirtations), but she soon cut to the chase.

...  
'i think i have a thing for you.'  
...  
'on april fools' day? c'mon.'

...oh. fuck. she forgot about that.

'i'm serious... can we call tonight? so we can talk about this?'  
'aw don't get my hopes up baby. i can call after 11pm, sure.'

seeing this, her heart automatically seized up and she felt like she could barely breathe.

...

...

...

when they finally had their video call connected, all she could see was the other girl with her face grinning. 'so... what do we do now?' she pressed, trying to hide her anxiousness. 

'what do you mean?' 

'i mean, do you feel something too? or are we just gonna be friends? can we even be friends?'

the other girl let out a laugh again. how weird, she used to love hearing that laugh, but now it felt out of place and as if it was... breaking her heart?

the more time that passed between them, the more she felt her heart sink and her tear ducts begin to fill. so, maybe she was wrong. maybe the two years of 'flirting' with each other was just her imagining things. she sighed. 

noticing this, the other girl quickly said  
'we can still fork and spoon!'

she felt as if her heart just leaped off a cliff. she quickly said her goodbyes, and shut the call. 

thank god it was april fools'. she sent a 'just joking, no i'm not in love with you don't worry' message just to be safe. 

...

...

...

...

MAYBE it was when she tried to forget about the other girl. the other girl had blueticked her, didn't reply her after the first of april. looks like damage control didn't really work out so well, huh?

nonetheless, the next few days, weeks, months were a mess as she teared up at the thought of them. 

when she went to bed, all she could think about was when the two of them were laughing at something together. 

when she was on the bus and listening to music, she thought about them when their 'couple song', as termed by the other girl back then, would play. 

when she saw her dog, she thought about the times when the other girl would visit her 'just to see her dog'. she sullenly looked at her dog at times, subsconsciously apologising internally for causing the dog to lose someone who cared for it. 

when she saw the other girl still sent her memes on instagram, she thought about them going through and scrutinising each and every meme; about how the other girl would match up their horoscopes to see their compatibility on those astrology instagram pages. 'yo, we're like an 80% match!'

when she did grocery shopping and walked passed the sweets aisle and saw the carton of strawberry-chocolate sitting their innocently, she remembered how happy the other girl was, how her eyes lit up at the sight of the carton. 'that's my favourite, ya know?' oh, yes she knew indeed. 

it sucked. she hated the feeling of her heart sinking multiple times a day. she hated that even the simplest of things would remind her of the other girl. she hated that she felt so strongly about them, what they were like together, only for her to realise on april fools' that only she was the one feeling this way.

...

...

... so, maybe she was wrong about them after all.  
and therefore, maybe she was april's fool.


End file.
